Why do you need “magical” meals?!

I was listening to NPR the other morning and there was a very welcoming, but “tangent” report being shared. A woman was speaking of how she is a reporter for world news and critical current events by day…but, ever since the election results, she has seemed to pick up a little culinary escape time at night. Stress relief? She seemed to express just that!

So, is that why there are so many fanciful foods being posted out there on social media? Mermaid toast. Unicorn bowls. Fairy dust lattes. Oh my! I don’t quite understand. Is it that we are all SO stressed from world events + politics that we have become emotional eaters? And perhaps making the meal look like a tie-dyed piece of play dough with tinsel will help ease the pain?!

What’s with the recent hype of “magical” meals??!?! I want to know…so, I dug deep.

Urban Dictionary says:

Unicorn Food

Food that is too pretty to eat.”
……..??!?!?!
So, maybe people are emotionally, not eating?! Or maybe the ingredients are so repulsive that you just DON’T want to eat it! Anywhoooooooo.
fullsizeoutput_1dca

I have to speak out on this subject matter. I know it’s pretty. But, what are the creators putting in the food to make it so BRIGHT and majestic?! Maybe you aren’t buying the right produce in the first place? I mean hun, I eat a full spectrum of color everyday, but mine is from the earth…. AHEM!

Want to hear more? Well you are going to… If you eat food that is genetically modified or tainted with pesticides… you’re not going to have the most vibrant outcome. But, who knows, maybe your poop will sparkle and smell like a fresh meadow from now on…Orrrr maybe IT won’t… I mean, imagine if someone sprayed YOU with ROUNDUP… I don’t think you’d be glowing so much!

Plus, these so-called, “Magical Foods”, just don’t look appetizing. I can just feel a canker sore popping up or better yet, a cavity gearing up for a root canal operation.

Remember our little chat about sugar and shit?! Yes. Perfect example, right here.

Exhibit A: STARBUCKS (I’m still shaking my head)

UNICORN FRAPPUCCINO BLENDED CRÈME – Ew. But at least it sounds fancy…

Starbucks Unicorn Frapp

“Here for a few days only: The flavor-changing, color-changing, totally not-made-up Unicorn Frappuccino. Magical flavors start off sweet and fruity transforming to pleasantly sour. Swirl it to reveal a color-changing spectacle of purple and pink. It’s finished with whipped cream-sprinkled pink and blue fairy powders.” – Starbucks advertisement information

{Based on a Venti Iced 24oz + Whole Milk + Whipped Cream}

Nutrition Facts Per Serving (24 fl oz)
Calories 500 Calories from Fat 160
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 18g 28%
Saturated Fat 11g 55%
Trans Fat 0.5g
Cholesterol 55mg 18%
Sodium 310mg 13%
Total Carbohydrate 79g 26%
Dietary Fiber 0g 0%
Sugars 76g
Protein 7g
Vitamin A 15%
Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 25%
Iron 0%
Caffeine 0mg**
*Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000 calorie diet.
**Each caffeine value is an approximate value.

Ingredients:

Ice, Milk, Crème Frappuccino Syrup [Water, Sugar, Salt, Natural And Artificial Flavor, Xanthan Gum, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid], Whipped Cream [Cream (Cream, Mono And Diglycerides, Carageenan), Vanilla Syrup (Sugar, Water, Natural Flavors, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid)], Mango Syrup [Sugar, Water, Mango Juice Concentrate, Natural Flavor, Passion Fruit Juice Concentrate, Citric Acid, Potassium Sorbate, Turmeric, Gum Arabic], Blue Drizzle [White Chocolate Mocha Sauce (Sugar, Condensed Skim Milk, Coconut Oil, Cocoa Butter, Natural Flavor, Salt, Potassium Sorbate, Monoglycerides), Classic Syrup (Sugar, Water, Natural Flavors, Potassium Sorbate, Citric Acid), Sour Blue Powder (Citric Acid, Color [Spirulina, Water, Sugar, Maltodextrin, Citric Acid])], Pink Powder [Dextrose, Fruit And Vegetable Color (Apple, Cherry, Radish, Sweet Potato)], Sour Blue Powder [Citric Acid, Color (Spirulina, Water, Sugar, Maltodextrin, Citric Acid)].

*** We cannot guarantee that any of our products are free from allergens (including dairy, eggs, soy, tree nuts, wheat and others) as we use shared equipment to store, prepare and serve them.

Guys… This is embarrassing. Let’s get real. What the “F” is “BLUE DRIZZLE”???!?!? Where do you grow that?! Sure, it sounds like a fun idea, but personally, I think living an “authentic” and healthy life gives you the ability to have MORE fun than throwing up!

If you feel the need to make one of these items, just blame it on the stress of politics, isn’t that why we all started going back to coloring books?! Better idea, take a painting class.

But, for your enjoyment, feel free to laugh out loud:

images-2
Sushi?
images
Wait, what? BARF?!
images-1
Is that, crazy glue?!

 

Mermaids don’t eat toast. Unicorns don’t get “milked” frappucinos. And, Fairies don’t make gilled cheese…Hey, don’t call me a “downer”… I’m just one to eat REAL food from the earth. That’s why I’m Just Bein’ Honest…

Now for some REAL eye candy… Take note of the delicious rainbow below!

IMG_6194

YES, I MADE THIS ↑

No food dye, or fake ness about this : )

Have a MAGICAL DAY!

xoxo kb

2 Comments Add yours

  1. Rick Knight says:

    The 76 grams of sugar just blew me away. A silly undrinkable offering 🦄

    Rick To give anything less than your best is to sacrifice the gift- Steve Prefontaine

    >

    Like

    1. Isn’t it alarming?! Thank you for sharing Rick!

      Like

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